Knock Knock

Sep 7th, 2009 - by Robbie
Medium_knocking_at_the_door

What happens when you go to your teenage daughters room and you find the door closed and she is in there with a boy?

Since when is that okay?  Strike One.  She is defying the house rules where there aren't boys allowed in her room.  I try to rationalize my reaction and figure out how to proceed.

Number one: the boy she is with isn't a boyfriend, at least not officially.  He is a great friend and one that I have always liked.  I think he respects my daughter, at least in theory.

Number two:  I was a teenager once and had the same rule but we had a basement so the bedroom was never an issue.  I was farther down the maturity road at her age, so I'm thinking I should cut her a break.  After all, she was in there when the entire family was home, how much can they really get into??
 
Number three: She is a great kid, with nice friends and good grades. She hasn't had a long-term boyfriend and could probably use the experience of cuddling with someone; it may even lighten her up a bit and get her out of her crabby mood.  Still, I am pissed that she broke the rules.

Still, I am pissed that she broke the rules.  Okay, What to do?  Knock on the door and time how long it takes her to answer?  Check to see how potentially disheveled she might look? Observe if the lights are still on?   Should I put my ear to the door first and listen first for any signs of inappropriate behavior?  EWW!  Don't really want to do that, but what the hell?  Before you can say surveillance camera my husband decides to go for it.  I run back to my room so it won't be overkill and totally embarrassing for her even though I am curious and annoyed.  The suspense is killing me.

My husband knocked on the door.  It was LOCKED. Strike Two. He looked at his watch to see how long it would take for her to answer.   She came to the door right away.   Clothes were on. No rustling overheard.  However the lights were very dim. Strike Three.  They were watching a movie.  She claims she locked the door to keep her pesky brother out of the room.  I ain't buying it.

My husband makes up some lame excuse for interrupting her, made a quick face at her after discovering the door was locked and they then came out of the room and hung out in a family room instead.  After her friend left we had a conversation about the rules and left it at a warning.  We cracked up as we noticed our parental hormones raging and once again became exactly what our parents were.  I only have 2 more years to watch our daughter navigate her teenage years...I just hope we all survive!

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Robbie

Robbie lives in Los Angeles and is the co-founder of mypheme.com.

Comments

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    Jan Sep 7th, 2009

    Look it's only natural for teens had four children and one off my sons liked to play Doctor. It was ok until my friend said he was using a stick. The children are all grownups and now it's their turn. Don't fret!

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    Cathy Sep 7th, 2009

    This is always a hard call. I say go with the LOUD KNOCK...every 20 mins.

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    B.K. Sep 7th, 2009

    I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that my kids arent doing what I was doing.

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    Erin Sep 7th, 2009

    Don't count on it B.K.

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    Lee R. Sep 7th, 2009

    This too shall pass.

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    Debi Sep 8th, 2009

    Hell me , I say you close your door I own the house, it is my parental right to open it and stick my head in. Which I did a lot ..I can't wait until my kids have kids *g*

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    Stacey Sep 8th, 2009

    Wow, you got it easy woman! I once did open a closed bedroom door, with a house full of my daughter's friends (she was having a party and I noticed she wasn't in the basement with the 40+ kids that were having a blast at my expense). I was annoyed that she was shirking her hostess responsibilities and went to find her to tear her a new one...maybe I should have knocked first (in hind sight it would have saved a whole lot of embarrassment on both sides), but I didn't. I was spurred on by the anger that I had spend a fortune on this party and had done most of the food prep as well and knew, without a doubt, that the cleanup would be in my lap too. So I opened that closed bedroom door...sex in a formal gown (albeit half off) with some random teenage boy (ok, so I knew him but really didn't like him) was NOT what I was expecting to see! Learn from my mistake fellow moms - definitely knock! You really may not want to catch your daughter doing what I did - that image will last in my mind's eye forever!

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    david Sep 8th, 2009

    i
    would
    relax
    and
    trust

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    florie Sep 8th, 2009

    Oy vey. . . we feel like we're parenting by our bootstraps on a daily basis. Just by the fact that your daughter and her friend came out to the family room shows that she "gets" the house rules. . . that's a good thing! We'll all survive just like our folks did. (and g-d knows we were up to way worse stuff than that, and it usually included drugs and alcohol)

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    thya Sep 12th, 2009

    put a port hole in the door or replace it with a screen door.

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