Not on Oprah's Reading List.

So I get on my flight to Chicago and I realize that as I buckle my seat belt,  I've left all of my just bought magazines on the seat next to me in the waiting lounge. Bummer. Two hours with no reading material. The airlines have cut back so much that even my flight attendant has nary a magazine to offer. "There's always the Sky Mall" she replied earnestly. You know the Sky Mall magazine don't you? I love catalogs but I have to be honest with you, its not my go-to-one in the least. After a ten second perusing of the "American Way" magazine in the seat pocket, reviewing destinations that I am never likely to visit, I decide to commit myself to reading the entire Sky Mall Magazine front to back with the hopes of passing the time on this flight. I keep my fingers crossed that by reading the Sky Mall Magazine, I may get a blog or two out of it as well.

Page 5 greets me with the HAIRMAX LASERCOMB. A picture of the top of a bald man's thinning hair  before and after. At $495 its a little too pricey for a trip gift for my husband but maybe his birthday? I turn down the page corner. It's a maybe.

Turn, turn, turn. I spot that SLANKET, you know he blanket with arms. So boring, and then I come across the VIDEO RECORDING SUNGLASSES. It holds 2.5 hours of high resolution video. Discreet hands free cam cording. Turn down the page corner. I could launch a new career as a freelance detective.

The very next page is THE VOICE RECOGNITION GROCERY LIST ORGANIZER. OMG, I'm starting to love this magazine. This device stores and prints grocery list generated from the items you speak into its microphone. It has a voice recognition system that includes over 2500 food, beverage, household and beauty items. Only $100 and it even comes with a wall mount.

And then…the ACULIFE THERAPIST DELUXE. For $200.00 you can be your own acupuncturist. Put your qi pathways into your very own hands. You can diagnose and heal yourself , your family…your friends. (I could seriously get into this one). I kind of like the wall chart that comes with it that shows the palm of your hand with the map of all your organs and shit.

Time flies and just halfway through the flight, I realize that I'm only on page 127 out of 143.  That's when I notice the TASERC2. $350 dollars gets you your own personal safety system…just in case you need to electrocute someone.

There are so many gadgets in this catalog! Two hours pass in no time and I didn't even get to finish. That's why I'm the one seen leaving the plane with it. I'm taking it with me because I don't want miss the face lift, anti wrinkle section. You never now what you may find!