I had to set the teacher straight on the "My Mommy" assignment.

Dear Ms. Spridle,

I want to be perfectly clear on my child's homework illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint surrounded by male customers with money. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This drawing is of me selling a shovel.

Sincerely,
 
Mrs. W.

P.S. But it did give me some ideas.