I may have to go to the Betty Ford clinic to get this off my toes.

I know exactly when it started.

I was taking my new MBT’s out for a power walk about a year ago.  You know, those shoes that allegedly get rid of cellulite? By mile 3, one of my toes started to throb, and I began to feel a blister forming on the back of my right heel. By mile 5, I was limping home. Three days later, my right middle toenail turned completely blue, then dark purple and finally black. I had been getting French Pedicures for about two years…I liked the way it always made your feet look clean, except that my teenage daughter told me it was borderline slutty.

Love that.

In any event, with open toe shoe season on the horizon, the French Pedicure had to go bye-bye. I tried a bunch of beautiful spring pinks and corals but nothing seem to cover up the black nail. It was unsightly and it was driving me crazy. That is until the biker chick half my age and two chairs down from me screamed, “Try the Wicked, Hun, it will cover that toe for sure.” She held up her foot and I saw what seemed to be black nail polish on her toes.  I also noticed that she had a tattoo on her calf that wrapped around her ankle. I think it said “Lady Dice” or something. Hmmm, I wasn’t sure the dark color was “me” but I felt like I had no choice. It was certainly worth a try. The bruised toenail was just cramping my style. When the nail technician finished polishing my toes with Wicked it was LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. It wasn't really black, but more of a deep, dark, delicious plum red. I later learned, that this polish was all the rage, and kind of still is, but what did I know? I was just a slutty French Pedicure gal.