Shoulda gone for the boob job then.

When I was 16 years old, I went to a party with all my friends wearing a tube top.  Remember those? The stretchy tops with no straps?  It was easier to wear that sort of a thing then.  That's when the muffin top wasn't an issue and I thought I was looking cool while pairing the top with the latest Land Lubber jeans.  I have always been pretty much an a/b cup and hadn't minded that really.  Not until that night when I realized that my tube top was suddenly around my waist.  It had headed south of its own volition while I was on the dance floor.  Humiliating for me. Not so the case for the boy who I was dancing with.

I hadn't thought about that until the other evening when I was at a huge fundraiser wearing a strapless bra.  All night I fought to keep that sucker in place.  Its like doing a hula hoop and you are trying to keep the ring around your waist.  I was wearing a lacy blouse so if the strapless bra actually went south like the tube top of my youth, I would be humiliated once again.  Not this time for actually showing some flesh, but for the fact that my size A's are heading south as well.  Double whammy.  I busted all the moves.  Hugged my husband while shimmying that sucker up.  Bending over to pick up a napkin and adjusting it from the front.  What was I thinking?  I eventually made it all night but by the time I got in my car to come home I just relaxed and sure enough, it was around my waist all the way  home.  I mean seriously? There is little to do about it all without a little help from the neighborhood plastic surgeon.  Either that, or just stick with the bra gymnastics!