This gift is definitely not on my list.

Red Rocket Tattoo is running a special on Mother's Day gifts. For $50.00 (half price) your "children" can get a small Mother's Day Tattoo anywhere on their body. The one pictured above caught my eye because of the plate of warm chocolate chip cookies.  All I can say is, "Are you f**king nuts?

Like I said before, this gift IS NOT ON MY LIST.

Over the years, I have collected some pretty amazing Mother's Day gifts. A few of my favorites are the ceramic sculptures that my kids made for me while they were in elementary school. Those miniature Rodin's sit on my kitchen window sill, my night stand, my living room tables and basically all over my house. Like all good bossy girls, my daughter used to try to assert herself as the "curator" of the house museum, critiquing the sculptures that her little brothers would bring home. One that comes to mind was the pink-fired birds nest that one of my boys created. When I unwrapped it from the brown paper, my eyes grew beyond wide.

"It's beautiful!" I cheered.

"It's a bwird's nest, Mommy. I made it feur you" my sweet boy added.

My then-middle-school daughter pulled me aside and said, "It looks like a vagina, Mom."

You know, it's hard to top that kind of gift. They, in their own way, permanently tattoo your heart.