I'll make in my pants, thank you very much.

I'm the first to admit that I tend to be slightly phobic. Do I have trace OCD? Possibly. Underlying anxiety issues? Most definitely. I take comfort in the fact that I own my own quirks and am not influenced by wacky news stories, or at least I thought I wasn't until I read this doozy news feed today.

Police in Boulder, Colorado reported that a woman who stepped inside a portable toilet at a yoga festival discovered a man hiding in the tank below when she lifted the toilet lid. The woman said she noticed something moving inside the tank and asked a man to check it out. The man reported seeing someone covered in a tarp inside the tank.

WTF? A Yoga festival, no less. Is nothing scared?

Security was called and the suspect emerged from the toilet — covered in human waste — and slipped away. He's still on the loose.

And to think, I used to be phobic about my keys falling into one of these things.