My swim goggles are doing a number on my face.

During the summer, I've added swimming to my exercise repertoire...mainly because it's less stressful on your body and I wanted a reason to wear the Speedo compression suit. Seriously, I put that thing on and it's instant acid reflux. It's that powerful. I have to take a pepcid-ac before I start my laps. The suit compresses everything in -- and kind of relocates it, like imagine your stomach right behind your boobs. You look great from the waist up but the design people at Speedo need to go back to the laboratory on the bottom half of the suit because it leaves your legs (and lower ass) looking like freshly-squeezed-out sausages. Not happy about that but...if you pose for pictures with your bottom half in the pool, you'll feel really good about yourself.

Aside from the racing suit, the swim cap is essential in order to protect the hair color and the goggles are a must if you're sensitive to chlorine, like I am. One dunk without them and I look like a complete stoner.

This year, I bought the pricey silicone goggles with the water tight seal. You put them on, push them close to your eyes and you're good to go. Unfortunately when making the seal on my face, the goggles pull all the skin from around my eyes, (including recruiting some skin from my cheeks) and create such a tight seal that (a mere 30 minutes in the water) give me the worst eye hickies, ever. We're talking eye hickies that can last almost 6 hours. Take my word for it, this is NOT a good look.

One of my friends saw me in town and asked point blank, "What's wrong with your face?"

I'd take the sausage legs over this, any day.

Who would have thought that when you start to lose some of the elasticity in your skin, goggles could be a major problem. What's a baggy-eyed girl to do?