I grew up in Miami, on the beach, every weekend.

My sunning days are over, but there's nothing like a little color to make me feel good.  I'm always looking for a natural, easy, streak free tan. A friend who's younger, golden and gorgeous, told me about a tanning place she goes to. "I do the bed and then the spray" she said.  The place was very close to me, so I tumbled out of bed on a Saturday morning, threw on my sweats, and headed for "Le Beach Club" tanning.

"Where are you going?", my husband asked. "Just going for a quick spray tan" I said. "Makes my legs look better in dresses". "Oh, not again", he said. "Last time you were orange for days! And you stunk!" "Ok, Ok", I said,"it will be different this time."

I walked in and met Lauren. Lovely and sweet and twenty something,  she told me about all my tanning options. "I want just a little golden glow" I said. Lauren recommended I jump in the stand up booth for just 6 minutes, and then go in to the spray room. "Sounds like a plan", I said. She walked me in to the stand up booth that looked like an old photo booth on acid. Everything was a bright neon green, with fans blowing everywhere. "Don't forget to put on the eye goggles" she said. "And then push these two buttons when you're ready to go. This one says number one, and then you push the one that says # 2." "Got it Lauren, thanks" I said. I closed the door, stripped off my clothes and stepped on. I put on the headphones to listen to the music, then the goggles, and then draped a towel over my face to protect it from the tanning. I then realized I couldn't see the buttons with the towel on, I lifted it up, but couldn't see which numbers the buttons were without my glasses. I took everything off, stepped off the booth, looked at the buttons again, and then got back on. I hit the buttons really fast, threw on the head phones, the goggles and then the towel. The towel kept slipping, so I threw the googles on over the towel. (Remember Cousin It)? The heat was wild and noisy and fierce. No wonder I was to only stand here for 6 minutes. It felt so good on my skin. It immediately brought me back to when I was in my twenties and used to go to a tanning booth with my boyfriend.  We were both naked and it was very sexy... All of a sudden i thought of my dermatologist, and my facialist, and the last plastic surgeon I went to for an IPL. And all the money I spend to make me look good so I don't have to have a fucking face lift.  And then I thought of all the vacations we go to in the sun and how much money I spend for a cabana, and an umbrella!!!! What was I doing!!?? I started panicking. I found another towel and put it on my chest, then my hands, then my chest again! Shit, I jumped off and threw on the black polyester robe. I ran out with the machine still roaring and found Lauren. "I'm sorry" I said,"I just can't do i'. I'm too scared, I'm in my 50's, I shouldn't be tanning like this." "I understand", Lauren said, "it's ok", she reassured me. "My Mom is the same way, she gets IPl's and just does the spray tan".

Wham, there it was, I could be Lauren's mother!!!

She walked me down to the spray booth where I belonged.