One upgrade for a family of five...who gets the iphone first?

We've been sitting on a cell phone plan upgrade for two weeks, anticipating today's Apple announcement of the release for the new and improved iphone5.

With one upgrade and five phones, the mere mention of the word "iphone5" sends my entire family into a furious, lobbying tizzy. Cries of "Me first" and "My turn" are just the tip of the iceberg.

My family's rationalizations of who really deserves the upgrade have provided great entertainment. Talk about "squeaky wheel gets the oil", I'm two seconds away from saying, "Just shut the f**k up".

"I'm the youngest and I never get anything."

"I'm the middle child and I always get ripped off."

"The boys will only play games with it and they don't need it, like I do."

"It's almost my birthday (in 6 months)".

And my favorite,

"You and Dad don't even know how to use it."

I end up hearing it all because I have the PASS CODE to the account, for which I must confess, I've spent the better part of the morning trying to remember it.

We don't need a family mediator here we need a MIND READER!