I hate it when restaurants accidentally do the switcheroo.

Waiters will insist that its Decaf but you never know until you're on your way home and your heart starts beating like machine gunfire. Dining patrons have no recourse when you get caffeinated coffee by accident.

It's happened to me a few too many times. When it does, I find myself up all night. It's awful! It's so lonely. Last week I painted my bathroom ceiling at 3am.

How can we hold these waiters and waitresses accountable? Next time I order decaf, I'm getting their home phone number. I'm sure a 3am call from a hyper me will insure accurate pouring practices.