MyPheme-Isms

Keep it short and sweet

  1. This upcoming world ending thing does not bump my hair color and brow appointments.

    Debi

    4:17 AM May 23, 2012

  2. Memorial Day? Miracle suit, my ass mother-f**ker.

    Anne

    5:56 AM May 22, 2012

  3. If swimming is so good for your figure then how do you explain whales?

    Anonymous

    4:21 AM May 21, 2012

  4. Oh come on...you know its true!

    Janet

    5:42 AM May 20, 2012

  5. Single socks make great dust rag mitts.

    Shelley

    4:56 AM May 19, 2012

  6. You know you're a dog person if you let your pooch ride shotgun.

    Terry

    4:33 AM May 18, 2012

  7. The next person that pees on the toilet seat gets tazed.

    Fran

    6:40 AM May 17, 2012

  8. The real trouble with reality is that there is no background music.

    Anonymous

    4:10 AM May 16, 2012

  9. No pills for me...I'm getting my Vitamin D on my beach chair.

    Michelle

    5:40 AM May 15, 2012

  10. She who sleeps in the raw is in for a nude awakening.

    Anonymous

    6:18 AM May 14, 2012

  11. I AM the boss. To save time assume that I know everything.

    Karen

    4:45 AM May 13, 2012

  12. Mother's Day Alert Children...Tomorrow we get to go all BISS on yo' ass! (Because-I-Said-So).

    Wendy

    4:33 AM May 12, 2012

  13. I like it when people bow down to me and kiss my feet on Mother's Day.

    Rita

    5:42 AM May 11, 2012

  14. WARNING: The low angle Face Time chat reveals too much neckage.

    Susan

    4:27 AM May 10, 2012

  15. there is no peacefulness, like that of sedation .

    Debi

    5:27 AM May 9, 2012

  16. I have a gift for butt-dialing.

    Anne

    5:26 AM May 8, 2012

  17. If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, we'd be unstoppable.

    Marcie

    4:13 AM May 7, 2012

  18. Cancel my subscription...I'm sick of your issues. :)

    Shelley

    6:03 AM May 6, 2012

  19. Dangerous but delicious...eating a lap salad while driving your car.

    B.S.

    4:30 AM May 5, 2012

  20. Say no to taters in tatters! Nothing feels as good as a major bra purge.

    Susan

    3:47 AM May 4, 2012

  21. To save time today, let's just assume I'm right!

    Fran

    6:34 AM May 3, 2012

  22. I don't care how much weight I've lost, I don't ever want to be called THE BIGGEST LOSER.

    Cathy

    4:59 AM May 2, 2012

  23. I will not let the swimsuit season get the best of ME!

    Jill

    5:52 AM May 1, 2012

  24. Do one brave thing today and then run like hell.

    Anonymous

    4:48 AM Apr 30, 2012

  25. A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.

    Nancy

    5:23 AM Apr 29, 2012

  26. My M-I-L still mows her own lawn at 91! I'll have what she's having!

    Debi

    4:57 AM Apr 28, 2012

  27. I laughed so hard last night that I think I popped an ovary.

    S.A.

    5:44 AM Apr 27, 2012

  28. Being a good writer is 3% talent and 97% not being distracted by the internet.

    Gretchen

    5:45 AM Apr 26, 2012

  29. Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all.

    Anonymous

    4:21 AM Apr 25, 2012

  30. Every time I sneeze, I squirt. Com'on...like you don't?

    Anonymous

    5:35 AM Apr 24, 2012

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